Potty Mouth (Uncut)
This episode "Potty Mouth" has been aired on Spike. Because it's not for kids, it's the uncut version for only adults. WARNING: This episode is banned episode of The Loud House. Only 18+ for adults. Not for kids. Transcript *''the living room, while everyone is going about their business, Lily is watching TV and giggling. Enter Rita and Lynn Sr.'' *'Rita:' "We're off to the mall, kids!" *'Leni:' excited "The mall?!" up phone "Let me clear my schedule for the day!" pressing"Delete, delete, delete, delete-" realizes "Oh. Oops. This is your phone, Lori." *'Lori:' "Ugh." her phone back *'Rita:' "Sorry, sweetie. This is just gonna be a quick trip. Dr. Shuttleworth of the Shuttleworth Daycare Academy is coming over today to interview us and Lily, and your father needs an appropriate tie." *'Lynn Sr.:' a tie with a British royal guard "But still one that has some personality." *'Rita:' "But mostly one that's appropriate." *'Lynn Sr.:' "Gasp! I say!" *'Rita:' "Honey, we have to put our best foot forward! This daycare academy is really, really in demand. We have been on the waiting list since I was pregnant...with Lori." *'Lynn Sr.:' mature "Well, I hope you kids appreciate the sacrifices I make for you." *'Rita:' "The interview's in an hour. Try not to destroy the house." *''parents leave'' *'Lynn:' the remote "Oops! Sorry, Lily. Gotta change the channel. It's time for Operation Dessert Storm!" *''others get excited; Lynn changes the channel to the aforementioned show.'' *'Lily:' "Dannit!" *''siblings gasp in horror and a picture frame falls off the wall.'' *'Lucy:' "Did Lily just say the "D" word?" *'Luan:' "Where the heck would she have learned that?" *''to countless times the kids have said the word. Lana is fixing Charles' doghouse and hits her finger with her hammer. Lola's princess car comes by honking, canceling out the sound.'' *'Lana: '"D'oh!!"'' *[Lana notices Lily next to her and covers her mouth, realizing what happened. Lola crashes her car into a tree and the airbag's deployment sound cancels out her saying that word.] *'''Lola: "D'oh!!!" *appears behind the tree babbling and Lola covers her mouth. Cut to Lisa rapping on her headphones and dancing. *'Lisa:' "♫''You're less than Pluto, not even a planet / When you hear my fresh rhymes, you gonna say-''♫" *''steps on a squeaky toy on the word that rhymes with "planet", which Lily seemed to have noticed.'' *''Lisa: "D'oh!!"'' *''covers her mouth. Segue to Lori and Leni in the laundry room fighting over a sweater.'' *'Lori:' "It's my sweater!" *'Leni:' "No, it's not, Lori! It's mine!" *'Lori:' "Bobby gave it to me for our second anniversary!" *''of them pull the sweater so hard, it tears in half. They shout the "D" word at the moment the washing machine buzzes.'' *''Lori and Leni:' "''D'oh!!!" *''[Lily pops out of the laundry basket, and the two oldest sisters cover their mouths upon seeing her. Transition to Lincoln playing a Wii styled game. Because he wasn't wearing the wrist strap, he tosses the Wiimote at the TV, which causes it to crash and shatter, its sound dubbing over Lincoln's swearing.'' *''Lincoln: "D'oh!!"'' *''then notices Lily on the sofa and covers his mouth. Next is Lynn practicing her baseball pitches into her soccer net. One ball bounces off her head and lands in their neighbor's yard. A lawn mower sound is heard, indicating it shredded the ball. Lynn screams with the mower's sound being too loud to hear her say the word.'' *''Lynn: "D'oh!!"'' *''opens the window and Lynn covers her mouth upon noticing her. Luna is tuning her guitar string, but it breaks. She screams with a guitar riff dubbing over her scream.'' *''Luna: "D'oh!!!"'' *''appears behind her amplifier and she covers her mouth. End flashback.'' *'Lily's Siblings:' embarrassed "Oh, right." *'Lori:' "What are we going to do? Lily's important daycare interview's coming up. If she says that word, she won't get into school." *'Lisa:' off-screen "Siblings, I have the solution." a surgeon outfit; takes out tongs "A quick, painless removal of the vocal cords. Well, mostly painless." *'Lisa's Sisters:' Lily; defiantly opposed "NO!" *'Lincoln:' "I have an idea. If Lily imitates our behavior, let's just give her some better behavior to imitate." *'Lisa:' "I'm going to remain scrubbed in, just in case." ---- *'Lincoln:' "Okay, everybody know their part?" sisters nod "Good. We've got one hour before the interview. Operation Delete the "D" Word is a go!" *''sisters take their positions.'' *'Lincoln:' "Lana, you're up." *''intentionally hits her finger with her hammer.'' *'Lana:' pain "DAAAA-♫''shing through the snow, in a one-horse open sleigh''♫ *'Lily:' Cliff "Kee cat." *'Lola:' in smugly "She didn't see it, Lana. Guess you'll have to do it again." *'Lana:' her thumb again; through angered and clenched teeth. "♫''Bells on bobtails ring, making spirits bright''♫" *''babbles rhythmically'' *'Lincoln:' "It's working! Lola, go!" *''reenacts crashing her car into the tree.'' Lola: back her anger "DAAAA-niel Day-Lewis is a really wonderful actor, don't you think?" *'Lily:' Charles "Doggy." *'Lana:' smugly "Lily didn't see it, Lola. Guess you'll have to do it again." *''growls and her car's airbag deploys on her face. Lincoln heads upstairs to Lily and Lisa's room'' *'Lincoln:' "Lisa, you're on." *'Lisa:' "Lily, let's bust some rhymes better suited to your infant ears." on her headphones, picks up a mic and starts rapping. "♫''Moo goes the cow, oink goes the pig / Watch me do an Irish jig''♫" *''starts doing what Lisa's doing.'' *'Lincoln:' "Good job, Lisa." *'Lisa:' "Peace!" her mic on one of her chemicals, causing an explosion that blows her hair off. "DAAA-nce! Dance, dance, dance! Uh-uh uh, uh." *'Lincoln:' Lisa's hair "You wear a wig?!" *'Lisa:' "Eh, nuclear experiment gone wrong." up her foot with a little something extra. "It's also how I got my extra toe." *''wiggles it; Lincoln takes Lily and leaves disturbed from what he saw.'' *'Lincoln:' "Lori and Leni, you're up." *''and Leni take out a new sweater and start to fight over it as instructed, and it stretches a bit.'' *'Lori:' "You stretched it out!" angry, but holds it back "DAAAA-and that's okay, because now we can share!" *''and Leni put on the sweater together.'' *'Lily:' at them "Share!" and goes in Lincoln's shirt *'Lincoln, Lori and Leni:' adoring "Aww..." *''sneezes inside Lincoln's shirt, getting snot on it.'' *'Lincoln:' back his anger "DAAAA-♫''shing through the snow, in a one horse open sleigh''♫" outside with Lily "Ten minutes till the interview. Lynn, go." *''tosses her ball on the edge of the net and it flies into the tree.'' *'Lynn:' "That's okay. I'll just get it down." the tree which causes the ball to fall on her head and catches it, but gets hit by a bunch of other balls in the tree. "DAAA-DA-DA-DA! Lynn Loud is the champion of the world!" cheers *'Lily:' "Da-da-da! Da-da-da! Yay!" giggles *''Luna's turn comes and she tries tuning her guitar like before with it working just fine.'' *'Luna:' annoyed "Oh, sure! Now the string won't break!" *''top of the neck breaks off and it smacks her in the face.'' *'Luna:' back her anger "DAAAA-t's "accent" "alright, love. I was done with that guitar. I'd rather play on these drums, mate." playing on them with Lily imitating her using the bongos, much to Lincoln's joy. *'Rita:' off-screen "Kids, we're home! Bring Lily down, please! Interview is in five minutes!" *''kids regroup'' *'Lori:' "Do you think it worked?" *''babbles happily and her siblings smile and each give a thumbs up; downstairs.'' *'Rita:' "You are so handsome in your new tie." *'Lynn Sr.:' an ordinary tie; upset "Well, I would have preferred the one with the bird playing the saxophone." *''doorbell rings'' *'Rita:' gasps "That's her!" *''the parents go to the door, Lily reaches over the table to get a snack, but Lori stops her.'' *'Lori:' "No, no, Lily. That's not for you." Lily up *'Lily:' "Dannit!" *''siblings gasp again'' *'Lincoln:' "Ah! It didn't work! She's still saying it!" *'Lisa:' out tongs "Now, we do this my way." *''the parents and Dr. Shuttleworth'' *'Rita:' "Dr. Shuttleworth, uh, this is our youngest, Lily." Lily *''knocks Lisa's tongs away with her bat.'' *'Rita:' "Lily, say hi." *'Lily:' drool on her hands "Goo! Goo!" *''Shuttleworth shakes her hand and gets drool on it.'' *'Dr. Shuttleworth:' "Okay, I see why you said "goo". It's all over your hand." her hand clean "Well, shall we get started?" *''adults sit down and the rest of the kids come by with fake smiles to watch the interview.'' *'Lynn Sr.:' "Uh, kids, what are you doing?" *'Lincoln:' "Can we stay and watch? We're just so proud of our baby sis." delightedly *'Dr. Shuttleworth:' "If you must, all right. Let's get started with the interview. Miss Lily, would you like to play with a toy?" *''gives Lily a hammering toy set to the baby's delight. Lana then imagines Lily smashing her hand with the hammer and getting ready to say the word and takes the toy away.'' *'Lana:' "Uh, she's not much of a tools girl." nervously and grins widely *'Dr. Shuttleworth:' "I see." out a toy guitar "Then perhaps a musical instrument?" *''imagines the guitar strings breaking and Lily about to say the word and takes the guitar.'' *'Luna:' "She's, uh, not much of a guitar girl, either, dude. Though I am." it playfully "Pretty sweet." *'Dr. Shuttleworth:' "I believe that most children like bouncing balls." Lily said ball *''imagines Lily bouncing the ball out the window and ready to say the word. Lily bounces the ball and it goes under the chair Dr. Shuttleworth is sitting in.'' *'Lynn:' "I'll get that for you, Lily!" under the chair, tilting it. *'Dr. Shuttleworth:' startled "Oh, my land!" *'Lynn:' the ball "Ta-da!" Dr. Shuttleworth's chair *'Rita:' panicking "We're so sorry!" *'Lynn Sr.:' shaky "Uh, let us help you!" *''parents put the chair back up'' *'Lynn Sr.:' disciplinary "Kids, look what you did to Dr. Scuttlebutt!" *'Dr. Shuttleworth:' "That's Shuttleworth!" *'Rita:' in the face "Okay, kids, out!" *''kids all sigh and leave disappointed.'' *'Dr. Shuttleworth:' "Actually, I'd like you to leave, too. I need to get a sense of how Lily does on her own." *'Rita:' "Oh! Uh, sure." *'Lynn Sr.:' he and his wife leave "See? I don't think she likes the tie, either." *'Lola:' "Okay, everyone, huddle up." *''huddle'' *'Lola:' "We can't leave Lily alone in there. She's a ticking cuss bomb!" *'Lincoln:' "Don't worry. I've got a plan. We'll swap Lily with someone who can be trusted not to drop the "D" word, and I've got just the someone." Lisa in and lifts up her wig. *''other sisters either gasp or scream in horror and another picture frame crashes.'' *'Lincoln and Lisa:' "Nuclear experiment gone wrong." *'Lisa:' "Uh, Lincoln, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this plan of yours." *'Lori:' sympathetic "Yeah. We totally get that." undeterred "But you're doing it anyway." *'Lisa:' sighs "Fine. Then I might as well take these out." her teeth, revealing them to be dentures, making her siblings either gasp or scream. "Long story." *'Luan:' her head to her senses "Okay, first, we have to swap Lisa for Lily. Follow my lead." *''other sisters hide in shrubs and Luan tosses a whoopee cushion in Lily's vicinity. Lily lands on the whoopee cushion to give off the implication that she pooped and Luan rushes in.'' *'Luan:' "Sounds like you guys are having a blast in here!" laughs "Get it?" as Dr. Shuttleworth is either annoyed or angry at what Luan said "Oh. I'll just change her diaper." Lily away, leaving Dr. Shutterworth confused and comes back with the now disguised Lisa. "Here she is! Freshly changed, and otherwise exactly the same as before!" leaves *'Lisa:' nonchalantly "Goo-goo gaga, et cetera." *'Dr. Shuttleworth:' "Okay, Miss Lily, I have a fun idea." out paper and paint "How about some finger painting?" *''finger paints a complex math equation, much to Dr. Shuttleworth's surprise.'' *'Lori:' "What is Lisa doing?" *'Lana:' a straw "Don't worry. I'll get her attention." a spitball at Dr. Shuttleworth catching her attention and ducks down with her sisters. *'Dr. Shuttleworth:' her attention back to Lisa "Now, how about we play music?" *''takes out a xylophone and Lisa plays a jazz piece, much to the doctor's surprise and her siblings' worries.'' *'Luna:' impressed "Whoa, dudes, she's really cooking them vibes!" *'Lincoln:' out "She's also blowing it! We gotta get those mallets away from her!" his yo-yo and knocks off Dr. Shuttleworth's glasses, drawing her attention and goes back to hiding. *'Lisa:' the doctor's glasses "Hmm. You've got quite an astigmatism." *'Dr. Shuttleworth:' "Pardon me? *'Lisa:' "Oh, uh...uh, goo-goo, gaga." *''gives her her glasses back'' *'Luna:' "I got this." in with a blanket "Don't mind me. I just thought Lily might want her blankie." to Lisa "Dude, you're supposed to be a one-year-old! Act like it!" Lisa the blanket and leaves *'Dr. Shuttleworth:' "Okay, Lily, let's sing a song together. ♫''The wheels on the bus go round and round''♫" at the sound of Lisa grunting "Lily?" *''lets out a big fart sound and a stench in her diaper, meaning only one thing.'' *'Dr. Shuttleworth:' the stench "Oh, my land! That's pungent!" *'Lisa:' "Poo-poo." *'Lori:' "Ew. Well, someone's gonna have to change her." *'Leni:' her nose "DIBS, NOT IT!" *'Other Sisters:' their noses "DIBS, NOT IT!" *'Lincoln:' his nose too late "Dang it! I always lose that!" over to Lisa and grabs her "Sorry, Dr. S. I'll take care of it. Aren't you a little cutie-wutie? Did Lily-Wily make a poo-poo in her diapey-diapey?" angry ''"Lisa, what the heck, man?" *'Lisa:' "I was instructed to act like a one-year-old. Ergo, I did. There's just no pleasing you people." ---- *Dr. Shuttleworth is going over her notes.'' *'Dr. Shuttleworth:' "Well, my evaluation is complete." *''parents eagerly await the results while their children sneak behind the sofa.'' *'Dr. Shuttleworth:' "Lily's a very gifted child. I've never seen a one-year-old who can play jazz xylophone or solve complex math equations." *''parents look at their children who have casual faces.'' *'Dr. Shuttleworth:' "Therefore..." beat "...we'd love to have her as part of our daycare family. Just bring plenty of diapers." *'Lily's Siblings:' cheerful "YEAH!" *'Rita:' excited "That's great news! Thank you, Dr. Shuttleworth! We are so happy!" *'Lynn Sr.:' "Please, take snacks for the road." *'Dr. Shuttleworth:' "Oh, don't mind if I do." *''all the snacks in her purse and prepares to leave.'' *'Lily:' the doctor "Dannit!" *''siblings AND parents gasp at that sound.'' *'Lynn Sr.:' "Did she just say..." *'Rita:' "...the "D" word?" *''kids approach Lily and the doctor.'' *'Lincoln:' "Please don't blame Lily for saying the "D" word! It's our fault!" *'Lori:' "It's true! She was literally just imitating our bad behavior!" *'Leni:' "She's really the sweetest little girl in the world!" *''Shuttleworth laughs, as does Lily.'' *'Dr. Shuttleworth:' out a doughnut "Children, Lily didn't say the "D" word. I believed she just wanted a doughnut. See?" *'Lily:' for the doughnut "Dannit! Dannit!" *'Dr. Shuttleworth:' "It's doughnut, sweetie." it to her *'Lily:' "Doughnut." *'Dr. Shuttleworth:' "She's a fast learner. See you next week at the daycare, miss Lily." leaves *'Rita:' of her kids "So, Lily plays jazz xylophone? Does anyone want to explain?" *'Lynn Sr.:' "Bah, does it matter, honey? Lily got in! And I don't have to wear this anymore!" off his bland tie, puts his royal guard one back on and sighs. "I feel so much better." *'Luan:' "And it turns out we had nothing to worry about. We're not such a bad influence on Lily after all!" *'Lincoln, Lori, Leni, Luna, Lynn, Lucy, Lana, Lola, and Lisa:' "YAY!" *''Charles shows up and snatches Lily's doughnut and runs away, causing Lily to get furious.'' *'Lily:' "D'oh!!!" *''gasps in sheer shock at what Lily just said, and one more picture frame falls and shatters.''